i'd like to take you to a higher place, where we won't ever have to leave the ground

[unrestraint]

It starts off as just a thought. Not really something that's been on her mind regularly, and definitely not something she's ever pictured as being in her immediate future. Just an errant consideration after a long evening of feeling sick, and feeling cranky, and wandering through the still halls of the convenience store down the block. She picks up a few things — grapefruit soda, mint chewing gum, a small bag of rice and chicken stock for stew. Things that will cleanse her palate and keep her nausea under control.

A brisk walk down the drug aisle has her picking up anti-emetic medicine, and in the process of trying to make out what the many colored and shaped boxes are supposed to be for, she happens across it. A long, thin box, not at all intimidating or standing out from the others. An errant puzzle piece that possibly, just possibly fits in place with the pattern.

The cashier hesitates for only half a second when scanning the item, and for some reason, doesn't seem to meet Korra's gaze. Which is fine.

It's just a thought, anyway.

She almost forgets about it once she's back at the house. Time is one of those funny things that slips easily through her fingers if she isn't careful, and there's always something that needs to be taken care of now that they've moved into a bigger space. Naga needs a bath, and the kitchen needs to be tidied, and the trash needs to be taken out — which is no longer a trip down the hall, but instead a matter of dragging the cans out by the curb, where the collection truck will see as it drives down the road. By the time she finds the three minutes she needs in the bathroom, it's practically when Naruto is due home, and Korra's biggest concern is whether or not he had the forethought to bring something home for dinner, or if she has to start thinking about what she can do with what's in the fridge.

Until she glances at the test she's carelessly left on the counter, finding two pink lines down the tiny window in the center.

Frowning, Korra reaches for the box, her skin buzzing uncertainly as she rereads the instructions on the back and finds herself a seat on the couch. It doesn't sink in. Can't, really, without someone else there to ground the moment.

Naga huffs slightly as she pads into the room, laying herself parallel to the couch and staring up at Korra. Korra stares back, pulling one knee up to her chest.

"Don't tell me that you knew all along and just couldn't find a way to tell me."

Comments

[outfoxy]

"Knew what?" Naruto asks from the kitchen, sliping in the still mostly spartan house with the jangle of keys and the rustle of a brown paper bag, full of leftovers from the noodle shop. He usually worked the late shift, which wasn't awful. 'Late' was only until around 10pm, which left plenty of time before bed, and also left plenty of time in the morning for sluggish wakers like Naruto.

Setting the food down on the table, he breezes into the living room to find Korra sitting on the couch, Naga beside her wearing a quizzical expression. The TV isn't on. He starts wondering.

"Is everything ... okay?" he asks. Something about the tableau seems off-model, for reasons he can't even consciously put into words. It's simply a strangeness that his intuition tells him is there. She's too stiff.

"Korra?" he asks, leaning in to press a kiss against her warm cheek.

[unrestraint]

Biting down a yelp of surprise, Korra turns to Naruto with her eyes slightly too wide and lips undecided. Maybe a smile is the most appropriate response. Naruto's newly home from work, which means they can finally relax and share the rest of the night together, and Korra's news... well. It isn't bad news. Bad timing, maybe, but still worth a smile.

Probably.

But Naruto's in her space before Korra can really react, stiffening as he presses his lips against her cheek and drawing in a breath before turning her head further towards him out of habit. Planting a quick peck on the bow of his lips, Korra spins the test in her fingers, before tapping the hollow of Naruto's cheek with the test. (The part that she didn't test on, naturally, because even if they didn't have any boundaries, that would have been gross.)

"Everything's okay. Really. We kind of need to talk, though," she says hastily, sitting up straighter and sliding more deeply into the corner of the couch. Korra practically thrusts the test out, thumb obscuring the result. "Have you ever seen one of these before?"

She needs... to not be the recipient of that quiet observation and those sharp blue eyes. Just for a moment.

[outfoxy]

Korra's lips aren't smiling when she presses the kiss to his own, which leaves Naruto staring, confounded, at her. She's not mad at him, that much is clear. If she were, she would have probably met him at the door wearing an irritated expression. She wasn't the cold shoulder type, and something he appreciated even more, she wasn't the passive-aggressive type. He honestly ... can't tell what she's feeling.

It freaks him out. He does his best to stay calm.

"I don't know what that is," he admits, listing his hand out of habit to rub at his cheek where she'd tapped it. He stares at the little stick before holding a hand out to take it, eyebrows knit as he puzzles it over.

"Is that what we're talking about? Are we talking before we eat? I could shut up if I'm just making this suck for you, or something."

[unrestraint]

Naga lets out a small snort before ambling out of the room. For the first time, Korra shows a moment of irritation, frowning at the polar bear dog — seriously, do they have a sense for these kind of things? Why is Naga stepping out of the room now? — before turning her attention back to Naruto. Who's still staring, blue eyes constantly between the stick and Korra's own gaze.

She needs to just come out with it, probably, because there's no elegant way of diving into the topic. This wasn't planned, this isn't something they've been trying for. He won't be expecting it.

"We're talking before we eat, and no, you're not making this suck for me," sighs Korra, still worrying the corner of her mouth as she reaches out for the box. Anxious fingers rip open the other end, flattening the cardboard out before she holds that out as well. She's not the type to hide, and especially not from someone like Naruto.

"This is a pregnancy test. I might... be pregnant. Wait, crap — do you want to sit down? I should have told you to sit down first."

As her voice fades, Korra can feel the pressure of her heart hammering somewhere around her throat, warmth blooming over her cheeks. She reaches out for the crook of Naruto's elbow, knees pushing against the cushion of the couch. Not that she thinks he's necessarily going to faint, but just in case.

[outfoxy]

"I'm not gonna faint," Naruto says, although the far-away note in his voice and the way he immediately sits down on the couch, the little white stick in his hands, suggests that his confidence is rote. It's a lot to think about, so much that he can barely start to think at all. It absolutely slams everything going on in his mind to a stop, as easily as a felled tree blocking the path of a train.

He rolls the thing around in his fingers, Korra's arm still on his own, before letting go with one hand to reach over and curl a palm around Korra's knee. His mind starts working again, sputtering back to speed.

"So you and me?" he asks. Which, what a stupid thing to say, but he can't help himself. "We were using protection. I'm ... you know what, it doesn't matter. If it's right? What do you want to do?"

There's an itch at the back of his mind; something about Kurama's chakra. Like he's excited about something, but holding back. Naruto flatly ignores it, not rising to the bait. This is a conversation about the future and it is between him and his girlfriend. Not Kurama.

Right? he asks himself, not as certain as his obstinance suggests.

[unrestraint]

Protection. Right. Of course Naruto wouldn't expect something like this when they've been... careful. Not that careful, though, if Korra's honest. She knows that there are many different ways to keep from getting pregnant, methods that she briefly researched and honestly didn't retain too much of when she made the decision to be intimate with Naruto. Each more intrusive than the last. Having something physical there, easy to wear and easy to remove, is fine. Visible. Tangible. But Korra's never taken well to the idea of being more restrictive than that.

Taking medicine for the sake of preventing a life from being born, it feels too much like interference. Feels too much like a choice, when really, this kind of thing should be left to chance. What will happen, will happen. Korra's never wanted to control every detail.

Still, the buzzing against her skin dissipates in a moment when he asks — what do you want to do?

Korra's gaze sharpens as she sits up, brows furrowed as she quickly reaches a hand out for the one Naruto rests gently on her knee. By contrast, her grip is firm and tight, shifting until their fingers lace.

"Are you kidding me? Why is that even a question? Of course I'm going to keep the baby. I could never — I could never give up the baby for someone else to take care of. I always wanted kids anyway, this is just earlier than I expected." Korra's lips remain faintly parted, a frown still pinching at her brow as she drops her free hand tentatively to the jut of her hip.

[outfoxy]

"That's not what I meant!" Naruto is damn quick to decry, holding up one hand in a way that seems defensive more than placating. She might decide he deserves a punch. It isn't just Korra, but nearly all of the girls he's ever known. Say something ignorant, suffer the consequences.

"I didn't even -- I'm talking about plans." It's true. Sometimes he worries this is a problem he'll always run into with Korra, not that he loves her any less for it, or himself, for that matter. But he's so shit at communicating what he's thinking, sometimes; his eyes are too far-searching. "What do you want to do about everything else? Like, did you have any plans for this? Of course we're not getting rid of a baby. But she's gonna need a nursery. And someone's gonna have to be at home after she's born, and we both work, but you make more money than I do And we don't know anyone else with kids, at least I don't, so should we tell people? Do you want to tell people?"

[unrestraint]

Although she lets out a couple of indignant huffs, Korra is quick to quiet down, still glowering slightly as the color rises even more deeply on her cheeks. She hasn't thought ahead. Not even on the rare occasions that she let her mind wander vaguely to the idea of having kids with Naruto, to the idea of where the two of them might have been in ten years. Twenty. Whatever Darrow allowed them. It's always been snapshots, vague flights of fancy, but never a defined path.

Maybe that's her shortcoming — never having a plan. Tenzin would certainly think so.

"I found out about five minutes before you did, so no," she says, slightly defensive, shifting uncomfortably until her side presses against the back of the couch. "No, I didn't have plans for this, but we have time to figure that out, don't we? There's a second bedroom in the house we can use as a nursery. The police department offers maternity leave, and if I'm the one making more money, then maybe I should be the one who works. And why wouldn't we tell people? We'll need advice. And I'm not ashamed of having a kid."

Korra scrubs at her cheek with the heel of a palm, gaze briefly dropping. Somehow, in her mind's eye, Korra pictured a moment like this being a lot happier. "Actually, I think I'm going to be obnoxiously proud. Like my parents were with me."

[outfoxy]

"I'm not accusing you of anything," Naruto says, the pout on his face deepening before his expression relaxes again, warming. He breaks Korra's grip laced between his fingers only to lean across the couch and wrap both arms around her neck, resting his chin on the soft slope of her shoulder.

"I just meant should we tell people so that they can point us in the direction of other people with kids. So our baby will have playmates. I never meant to make you feel like I was putting all of this deciding on you. You don't have to have a plan. I'll work on the plan for as long as you need to take care of here and now. It's -- no," he says suddenly, brows knitting and tone of voice changed. Inward-focused. "Shut up. Butt out."

This is none of your business, you stupid--

Who's stupid? You can stop talking in hypotheticals now. You couldn't tell before? Humans are useless.

Naruto flushes pink. "This is happening."

[unrestraint]

Sometimes it's easy to forget that there's always a third presence in the room when they're together. Kurama's always watching in one away or another — Korra's not even really sure if the spirit ever sleeps — and it feels kind of weird and intrusive and yet desperately, desperately needed right now. Because Kurama's seen the whole process, right? He was in Naruto's mother, and he's watched Naruto grow up ever since he was an infant, and if there's anyone who can kind of understand what it means to be a parent between the three of them, it's Kurama. As galling as the thought is.

Korra wishes that her own mother were present, and her lower lip trembles at the thought, even as Naruto's familiar warmth and weight wraps around her shoulders. Both hands raise at once to hook over Naruto's forearms, keeping him close as her vision swims under the prickle of heat in her eyes.

"I swear, if Kurama and Naga have just been hiding this from us, I don't even — that's terrible, you guys," mutters Korra, her mouth twitching at either corner as she turns in Naruto's hold and buries her face against his neck. Her heart thrums somewhere between panic and elation. Tension and release. "And if our baby has your hair, I'm never forgiving you."

She freezes, chin hooking over Naruto's shoulder. "Our baby. We're making a tiny person."

[outfoxy]

He doesn't know what to feel first. It's just feeling everything at once, now that his mind has been brought finally up to speed with the conversation. That they are making a tiny person. There are a lot of things he\d like to be for Korra right now, a lot of things he guesses would be the mature way to react, or ... manly, in a good way. But all that Naruto can do is turn an even darker shade, face flushing as his eyes prickle.

It's ... weird and impossible, the way he feels. Relieved and wound up and happy and helpless and more attracted to Korra than he thinks he's ever been before, which is a lot. And stupidly in love with her. Stupidly in love with the idea of it.

He wipes his eyes on the fabric of her shirt; they're already uncontrollably wet with tears.

He might puke.

"You don't understand, this is the best thing that ever happened to me. I've never been part of someone's family before."

[unrestraint]

Korra could allow herself to focus on how incapable she is of imagining what it's like to grow up without a family. That part of Naruto's past might still be the closest that she's ever come to pitying a person, trying to imagine them with no strong and sure anchor, no one they feel free enough to call family. No one they feel confident enough in to believe that they'd say the same in turn. At least Mako and Bolin had one another, growing up.

Instead, she feels like her chest is about to burst, each breath a struggle as she wraps her arms tighter around Naruto. Protective, in some ways. Overwhelmed, in others. She's never thought of family as being something that she could give to a person in a manner so unyielding and concrete.

"I love you," she says, raising both hands to Naruto's shoulders and pushing him back just far enough for her to duck in and kiss against the dampness of his cheeks. "You were my family from the moment I first said that, you know. But there's really no turning around anymore. You're really going to be a dad. You couldn't even wait until we had half a year together before knocking me up, could you? And you still haven't let a month go without crying."

She laughs, slightly broken and halting as Korra brushes her thumbs over Naruto's cheekbones, smoothing the wetness away. "That's okay. You can be the one who teaches our kid that it's okay to cry. That's an important lesson, I think."

[outfoxy]

"It's happy crying," he tells her over the thickness in his voice as he leans further back. She's so beautiful. He can imagine a baby, with coffee-colored skin and almond-shaped eyes and Korra's hair, dark and thick and beautiful, which he prefers over his own. He likes it, because it's a part of him like his own father, but really, children should resemble their mothers. Mom is usually prettier.

"I'm really gonna be that person. This is seriously the happiest day of my life."

One of his hands strays to his own neck, brushing beneath the collar of his shirt to find the cool crystal hanging from its twine there.

Your keepsake is broke, old lady. I don't feel very cursed at all.

[unrestraint]

It's a little hard to watch Naruto crying while imagining him playing the sort of role that Korra's father did in her life. He looks younger with his cheeks flushed heavily pink and his breath staggered, drawing out that specific sort of affection that Korra has never quite managed for anyone else. She brushes her fingers up and across the hair that threatens to get in his eyes, smooth and straight and — she might make fun of it, but Korra's always liked Naruto's hair, bright like spring flowers under sunshine.

"Hey, we've still got a full nine months to go, mister," she points out, leaning forward until the tip of her nose bumps against Naruto's. "It's not going to be the happiest day of your life until we get there. And I might make your life hell before then."

She draws a finger curiously down the twine, chasing after Naruto's hand, but not questioning just yet. If he wants to share, he will. Otherwise, there's no harm in giving him a moment.

"I'm really glad I'm doing this with you, Naruto," Korra admits quietly, drawing in a slightly shaky breath. "I feel like this baby is going to be the most loved in the whole world."

[outfoxy]

"Don't exaggerate," Naruto tells her with seriousness that is only a little self-mocking. "There is no possible way that spending any amount of time with you will ever feel like hell. I've been there before. Figuratively speaking. If you make me go get you barbequed pork or weird tea or something at four in the morning, that is just going to make me love you more," he declared.

He grabbed for her hand, holding it where it was, pressed against the center of his chest where her fingers brushed over his collar.

"I was starting to worry that I'd never have any of this." He'd been starting to worry he was really going to die, to be honest, especially with the weird cold dread he'd felt when Shikamaru had arrived. They hadn't discussed it after that, and Naruto saw no reason to -- and had no great desire -- but he still allows himself, now, to be comforted by Korra's presence, and awed. Awkwardly but earnestly. She was going to have their baby.

[unrestraint]

Korra starts to shake her head before Naruto can even finish his sentence, turning towards him and squeezing his hand where he's wrapped it around her own. The reality of either of their worlds sometimes takes a backseat to the lives they lead in Darrow. More and more, Korra wakes up expecting the high rise horizon of the city, and to Naruto splayed out on the bed, sometimes with an arm gently thrown over her hip. Closing her eyes and trying to draw back memories of the South Pole feels a little like peering through a haze, and it makes her chest ache. Naruto's situation... is even more complex.

Sometimes, she lets herself forget, and she has half a mind to let herself do so now.

"You could have asked," Korra says earnestly, crawling closer, until she's nearly sitting on Naruto's lap. "I know I'm not great at planning far ahead, but when I try, you're in the picture. And you were the one who said not to let home get in the way of living here. I never would have considered having a family here if it weren't for you."

Her smile has faded slightly, replaced by a softer look as Korra leans close, pursing her lips and tracing them gently across the dampness of Naruto's cheeks. "We'll be okay, right?"

[outfoxy]

Naruto smiles at Korra, but lowers his eyes, lashes hiding his gaze as he stares into the small space between them. It's a far-away expression, but not one of pain or regret or frustration. She's right, he probably should have asked; but he never has been good at knowing how to communicate what he needs from other people. He knows it's important, just as he knows it's also important to understand that people have to meet their own needs in the middle, can't expect the world to always bend totally in their favor.

"We'll be okay. I don't see any reason that we won't be okay. I mean, as an us, I know we're okay, and as parents, I think it's hard to do the wrong thing if you do whatever you do because you really loved your kids. I can't think any other way."

[unrestraint]

"Oh, I don't know," Korra says with a wrinkle of her nose. "I've heard of loving parents who still made... some pretty big mistakes."

She's never had any issues with her own parents. If anything, she wants to emulate their example as much as possible — supportive, but capable of encouraging restraint whenever Korra's needed it. But neither of them ever tried to hold Korra back from her dreams, and what she wanted to accomplish as the Avatar. It's not easy, she knows. Her parents have always preferred a simple, contained life, and having their daughter turn out to be the Avatar gave them anything but.

Korra raises her free hand to Naruto's jaw, cupping it gently. Not trying to pull his gaze away from wherever he's concentrating on at the moment.

"But we're both pretty open to taking advice, so I don't think we'll have that problem. And we've got friends who'll help us. You know, maybe I'll freak out in a couple of days, but right now... I'm pretty excited. I kind of hope we have a boy."

[outfoxy]

"A boy?" Naruto says. He rolls it over in his mind at first, but quickly comes to the decision that it isn't what he'd prefer. It's too hard, so early, to shake the picture of a little version of himself, in every way, and he finds he's not sure his patience can take it. The noise, the attitude, or the hair. Korra's just got better hair.

"Wouldn't a girl be better? Whether she looks like you or she looks like me .. I think a girl would be better."

[unrestraint]

"Are you kidding me? Boys are so much fun. And it'd be cute to see if he ends up like you," Korra points out, settling back down fully on the couch. Now that they've had a few minutes for the thought to sink in, Korra finds her strength slightly sapped. "I mean, both of us are pretty loud and I guess we must have been obnoxious kids, so maybe this one will be, too. Boys seem to get away with that a lot more easily than girls, though."

Taking a deep breath, Korra reaches out for Naruto's hand, threading their fingers together and tugging him in her direction. "Do you think you can take tomorrow off work? I want to go to the hospital and see how far along we are."